Dear Alice
by Dream Factory
Summary: Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !" After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for each day Edward is away from her.
1. 16th September 2005

**Title: **Dear Alice

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **"Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !"

After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for every day Edward is away from her.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing its characters for a while. I promise I'll give them back.

**Remember: **English is not my first language so there'll probably be some mistakes. I'm doing my best to avoid them though.

**A/N : **I've just rewatched New Moon and the scene were Bella wrote mails to Alice just had to be done into a fic ! I'll try to post it every day, even though I can't promise anything. But I'll do my best. Also, some will be longer than the others. After all, a mail is not a page long^^

* * *

Dear Alice,

Today, I died. Your brother killed me.

_You're not good for me, Bella._ He said. What could I answer to that ?

You already know it, he left me. He told me he didn't loved me. He told me he lied to me during all those months. He told me he wouldn't forget me but that he'd be easily distracted.

Each word he said during this afternoon pierced my heart. Then he left, leaving me alone with my heart shattered in pieces. I tried to follow him, to reach him. How stupid ! I got lost. I wandered in the woods for several hours before falling to the floor.

I wanted to die. It would have been so much easier, so less painful. Just close my eyes and forget everything. Forget Edward's words, his coldness, my pain. Forget he'd just left, forget I wouldn't see him anymore. And that I wouldn't see you either.

I don't know for how long I stayed like that. I just know that after a while a Quileute found me, Sam. Sam Uley. He brought me back home, back to Charlie.

Apparently, everyone was looking for me. Why ? I don't know. What for ? I didn't wanted them to find me. I wanted to stay in the woods. I didn't wanted to come back.

Charlie watched over me all night long, answering the many phone calls we had. Everybody seemed to worry about me. There again, I didn't knew why. There wasn't left enough of me to be worth worrying about.

Jessica's mother has called as well. Fires had started in the Reservation. Charlie called Billy. It's the young Quileutes. They started those fires to celebrate. To celebrate your departure.

Charlie told me he heard Carlisle accepted a job in Los Angeles. As if you'd ever set a foot in such a sunny town.

I'm so tired, Alice. I feel like I'm drained. I've just came in my room and I've noticed that every stuff that reminded me of...you were gone. You've clean things up apparently.

_It will be as if I'd never existed,_ he said. He kept his words.

And now, I'm the one who doesn't exist anymore.

Bella.

* * *

There you go ! If you like it, the following mail is already written, let me know !


	2. 17th September 2005

**Title: **Dear Alice

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **"Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !"

After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for every day Edward is away from her.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing its characters for a while. I promise I'll give them back.

**Remember: **English is not my first language so there'll probably be some mistakes. I'm doing my best to avoid them though.

* * *

Dear Alice,

I couldn't sleep at all last night. The same scene is playing over and over again in my mind. Your _brother _telling me that _he _doesn't love me.

I knew it, I had alway known it. I knew I wasn't good enough for _him_, good enough for you all. I wanted to believe it though, I wanted to believe that maybe, someday, _he _would love me like I loved _him_. But I was wrong.

I thought I would have more time though. I didn't expected the end of our relationship to come so soon. I wished I had more time to get ready for it. Even though, of course, I'd never have been ready. I'll never be ready to give him up

Bella.

* * *

If you like it, the next one is already written. So let me know if you want to read it.


	3. 18th September 2005

**Title: **Dear Alice

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **"Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !"

After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for every day Edward is away from her.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing its characters for a while. I promise I'll give them back.

**Remember: **English is not my first language so there'll probably be some mistakes. I'm doing my best to avoid them though.

* * *

Dear Alice,

I still haven't sleep. _He _appears as soon as I close my eyes. I see _his _face. I hear _his _voice.

I'm starting to see _him _even when my eyes are open. Everywhere. All the time.

Bella.

* * *

  
Short I know ! But there's nothing more to say. Want the next one ? Reviews !


	4. 19th September 2005

**Title: **Dear Alice

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **"Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !"

After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for every day Edward is away from her.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing its characters for a while. I promise I'll give them back.

**Remember: **English is not my first language so there'll probably be some mistakes. I'm doing my best to avoid them though.

* * *

Dear Alice,

Oh Alice ! I'm so hurt. _He _took my heart with him when he left. I can't breathe anymore, I can't eat anymore, I can't think anymore.

The coldness that entered me during this doomed day never left me again. The pain neither.

It's overwhelming me. The tiniest thing make me think of...you.

I'm losing it, Alice. I'm drowning. And no one is there to rescue me. Not even you. You changed your e-mail. You left me too, Alice. But no matter what, I can't be mad. Not at you, neither at..._him._

Bella.

* * *

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	5. 20th September 2005

**Title: **Dear Alice

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **"Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !"

After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for every day Edward is away from her.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing its characters for a while. I promise I'll give them back.

**Remember: **English is not my first language so there'll probably be some mistakes. I'm doing my best to avoid them though.

* * *

Dear Alice,

It's getting harder and harder to breathe ! I don't want to breathe anymore. Every breath I take seems to deepen the hole that took my heart's place. I wish I wouldn't feel anything anymore. Even just for a second.

One tiny second.

Bella.

* * *

  
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	6. 21st September 2005

**Title: **Dear Alice

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **"Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !"

After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for every day Edward is away from her.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing its characters for a while. I promise I'll give them back.

**Remember: **English is not my first language so there'll probably be some mistakes. I'm doing my best to avoid them though.

* * *

Dear Alice,

I still can't sleep. I feel like I don't even know how to fall asleep anymore.

To tell you the truth, I don't even know if I'm tired or not. I don't feel anything anymore. Not at all.

I'm not hungry anymore, I'm not thirsty anymore, I'm not tired anymore.... I'm nothing anymore.

Since _he _left.

Bella.

* * *

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	7. 22nd September 2005

**Title: **Dear Alice

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **"Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !"

After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for every day Edward is away from her.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing its characters for a while. I promise I'll give them back.

**Remember: **English is not my first language so there'll probably be some mistakes. I'm doing my best to avoid them though.

* * *

Dear Alice,

Why ? Why did you left ? I don't live anymore.

I'm suffocating, Alice. I can't breathe anymore. _He _was my oxygen, the reason I lived.

Oh, Alice. Why did _he _left ? I loved him more than anything else.

I love him more than anything else.

Bella.

* * *

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	8. 23rd September 2005

**Title: **Dear Alice

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **"Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !"

After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for every day Edward is away from her.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing its characters for a while. I promise I'll give them back.

**Remember: **English is not my first language so there'll probably be some mistakes. I'm doing my best to avoid them though.

* * *

Dear Alice,

One week already. One week since _he _left me. Since you _all _left me.

I feel like it's much more longer. It feels like forever.

I don't even remember what my life was before. My universe froze. My whole life revolved around _Edward_.

And now that he's not here anymore, I'm lost.

Bella.

* * *

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	9. 24th September 2005

**Title: **Dear Alice

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **"Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !"

After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for every day Edward is away from her.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing its characters for a while. I promise I'll give them back.

**Remember: **English is not my first language so there'll probably be some mistakes. I'm doing my best to avoid them though.

* * *

Dear Alice,

Don't you see how much I suffer ? Don't you watch over me anymore ?

Why did you left me as well, Alice ? Why did you stopped looking after me ? Why do you let me die, Alice ?

I'm so hurt. And you don't see it.

Bella.

* * *

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	10. 25th September 2005

**Title: **Dear Alice

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **"Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !"

After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for every day Edward is away from her.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing its characters for a while. I promise I'll give them back.

**Remember: **English is not my first language so there'll probably be some mistakes. I'm doing my best to avoid them though.

* * *

Dear Alice,

Charlie wants me to go back to school, tomorrow. School, is there still anything so...normal ?

I don't know if I'll be able to do that, Alice. I don't know if I'll be strong enough. It would mean move on with my life... Without him.

Bella.

* * *

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	11. 26th September 2005

**Title: **Dear Alice

**Rating: **T

**Summary: **"Dear Alice, every night I write to you... If only I knew where to send those mails !"

After Edward and his family left, Bella feels the need to write to her best friend. A mail for every day Edward is away from her.

**Disclaimer: **The whole Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just borrowing its characters for a while. I promise I'll give them back.

**Remember: **English is not my first language so there'll probably be some mistakes. I'm doing my best to avoid them though.

* * *

Dear Alice,

Like I told you yesterday, I came back to school today.

I don't know what was most terrible : whispers as I passed by or questions I was asked.

But the worst, Alice, the worst is that I couldn't help but looking for you. I hoped to see you entering the cafeteria, as if nothing had happened. I wanted to see Emmett's massive figure pass the door with Rosalie.

Then, you would have come, dancing as always, and leading Jasper in your path. And finally, he would have appeared. And he would have smile at me...

Bella.

* * *

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